LETTER TO THE GIRL WHO BROKE MY HEART WHEN TRUE LOVE WAS ALL I GAVE! (2)

Omo, you are wicked oh!

You betrayed me.

I know you are somewhere, 

sending screenshots of our chats to your girls!

May your phone battery develop fault; 

it would be unrepairable, 

and if you get a new phone, 

the screen would break.

The iron in your bra would pierce 

your chest.

On your period, your pad would 

shift and leak into the bed!

Your expensive wig will fall inside 

Third Mainland Bridge water; 

I don’t know how… but whatever.

When you take pictures, 

it would come out blur.

Your lips combo will smear.

Rain will fall on the days you wear makeup.

Your favorite dresses would no longer fit.

May you have big, protruding tummy 

and be like Shrek to men who want you.

Wicked girl!

You will get the wrong order from Temu!

You will always buy the wrong shade of foundation!

Your frontal glue will be fake on 

the days you go on a date.

Your passport would get lost when 

you want to go for vacation with your “babes”!

The heels on your shoes will break 

when you want to get on stage.

During house parties, 

someone will dare you to leave.

Your acrylic nail will break 

from the root, not the tip!

Pimples and acne would be friends with you; your skin would no longer 

care about your skincare.

Your braces would not align your teeth; 

you’d be the first it goes wrong for.

Breakout will finish you.

Even if you go on water diet, 

you will lose nothing, 

and you will never be in shape.

You will use “r, h, and p” factor 

on important days, and 

people will mock your accent and mistakes.

Your transfer won’t go through, 

and the Uber driver would mock you.

Your white dress will stain engine oil.

Your new bar soap will fall in the water closet.

I pity you not,

as you didn’t have mercy on me.

I jink you today.

I will never forgive.

Written by Olu Ajoba