INSECURITIES

 

You had told me that the easiest 

lies to drop were the ones in my head!

But these lies I have, they’ve produced results!

You know I’ve been here!

Several times, plenty moments.

When I thought it was all lies, 

but my soul felt them.

Until my reality played them out.

And it felt like dreams came to pass.

I am taking a step back to reflect. 

He had said she was just a friend. 

Ofcourse you know how the story did end.

She had promised to always be there. 

She doesn’t even pick my calls anymore.

So, when I see signs that look like theirs.

I lock out everything that gives me ideas.

I say to myself “let’s wait for time to tell”

Maybe so, it’s all in my head. 

Many times, it’s never just in my head.

It is moments felt, intuition sensed.

I found the word the world calls it.

INSECURITIES; it sounds deadly.

3 out of 5 times, I doubt every thing said,

Every arm extended, every feeling shared. 

I’ve been there,

I’ve met lies at the end of all tunnel! 

I hate that I am here; living protected. 

Because it means when you say “I love you”

I am forced to do a fact check.

When you say “I would be there”

I refuse to build my hope around you.

When you say “let’s do this”

I say “I will do this”

So whether or not you are there, 

My world moves at will.

A part of me hates what has become of me, 

As I move ahead, I fault the scars as seen.