DEFENSIVE

 

I found a word for the walls that I built!

The ones so high, they made me unavailable to you.

I call them my defense.

You were right to have said I have fear,

that the things I did

weren’t what I preferred.

I agree with you, but

these walls are my defense.

How do I leave behind stabs 

and jabs to build a world with you?

How do I forget what was made of me?

Yes, you remind me of things that are good.

A life worth living, love that is true.

Certainly, you look like

what God said was good when he finished.

I want a life with you.

But woe betide me if…

If I break down these walls.

Woe be unto me if I don’t fight through this cause.

Woe betide me if I

don’t fight enough.

Let it be that I put in my all.

When you make me laugh,

I check if the words are true.

When you make jokes,

I will need to tell myself

to not make them hold me.

Because I heard those who make you laugh the most, break you the hardest.

These are the only things I’ve known,

the only truth I hold.

Maybe so, my defense is too bold.

But if all hell does break loose,

I’d say I had my walls,

and I hope they hold enough.

I beseech you that you…

Forgive my ego for what it’d cause.

Forgive my disbelief and doubt.

Forgive what it brings to you.

Accept me for what I am,

remind me at interval of what you are,

Of what this is and of what you have.

Cast me not away from the life we’ve began living.

Up until I get use to what this is.

When I do let my walls down,

don’t make walking away your favorite thing to do.

Don’t make lies your best thing to give.

Yes, I am defensive but you’d 

agree with me, it’s worth every build.

But as I let it all down; slowly and with believe in time.

I beseech you thee, let it be worth my while. Let it be the best thing just like a cold drink, after a long thirst.