DEAR LIFE, YOU OWE ME

 

Dear Life,

You didn’t tell me this was it!

To be honest, I hate how you left me to be.

No tips, suggestions, opinions or inputs!

Just some vanity, childhood trauma and grief.

You are not even funny! 

Life, how can you continue to sap life from me.

I don’t like where I am at!

Stuck in between pains and hurts.

Memories of before and what I look to become.

Everyday, the choice gets thinner 

My soul grows weaker! 

I don’t like it

I don’t like me! 

I am no longer fascinated by sitting and crying 

until night comes and asks me to go to sleep.

My eyes have gotten used to the heaviness that

you no longer can tell if they got no rest. 

My heart is settling with the bleeds. 

My body feels like it’s going off me.

How could you make this of me? 

You know I fought as much as I could. 

I fought you for the better that could be. 

Look at me.

Look at this. 

Dear life, you have 7 working days! 

7 working day to sit with me,

To talk with me! 

To bring to my remembrance the things I longed to be.

To allow me live for this. 

In that short while, we will visit the things I used to will. 

We will regret the things I allowed not to be. 

We will forgive as much sins.

Promise me you’d sit with me.

Oh life, I haven’t tried! 

I haven’t tried as I would try. 

Because I’ve ran out of trying.

I’ve tried all I’ve known. 

Now, I hate the idea of going again. 

You know how they say “go big or go home?”

I never even try to go anywhere 

Neither big or home or anything that as a “go”.

You scared me that much - you know.

Dear life, is this a joke?

Flip the script and tell me it’s a joke. 

Like cut, or it’s over or so.

You know what I hate most? This!

This crazy grief and the way it hooks my soul.

It pauses me from living 

It takes my becoming.

I hate that you watch it be.

Look what’s become of me.