WAITING UP FOR YOU

 

I can't believe that I used to wait up for you.

And you would come home and struggle to give me a kiss.

I'd think you were tired, but I was just too foolish to see.

You didn't love me enough to hug me when sweating.

You couldn't hold me without bathing.

It wasn't OCD, you were just irritated by me.

Why didn't you tell me? It would have been better than how you treated.

I desperately want answers but it would be foolish to seek closure after what you did to me.

How could you rip me so bitterly? Killed my joy every minute.

Now I have phobia when a man smiles at me because a smile was how you started with me.

I have taken many thoughts at it- If I was terrible, why didn't you say it?

Why did you do that to me?

I was barely healing from previous torments received, putting together pieces of me.

What you did was wrong, unfair to me.

Now that I have the time to think, I never should have met you, I never should have allow you treat me how you did.

I cannot forgive myself for waiting up for you the way that I did.

But it is a journey and I am moving past it.