HER

You were not honest with me, you told me little lies and they scarred me deep.

I didn't like that you were looking for her in me.

You were a good story teller, I thought your insecurities were kind acts.

I called your protection a symbol of your kind heart.

But all of those were scars. I wish that I knew better.

I got used to you.

Talking from 8am into midnight, taking me places and causing me to smile; you thought I was her.

You were looking for her in me.

I laughed the way she did.

I thought I knew you until the first jab because how dare you tell me you miss her 

When I am right here thinking I now own your heart.

How dare you make me laugh, live memories with you.

But you did those because you had done it for her and it was easy for you to do so with me.

In your words, "if she was here".

I found that disregarding, what effrontery, such dumb comparison.

What do you mean 'I almost laugh like she does?'

And my forehead looks like hers.

How can you love me as a picture of her?

 With you, my identity didn't count

And I waited so badly hoping you'd see me for me.

But you didn't and I got lost too deep.

I wanted the kiss of your lips, the one that belongs to me.

But I never got it.

So weeks into month, I realized I would never be her and I would never be enough.

Not for you, and my bags were glad to be packed and to find their way from a place that was never home.