DRAINING DISTRACTION

  

It was at the spot that I stood and swore the Heavens that I would look at the nakedness of no other man but you.

I am sorry, but I had a distraction. 

It dressed better and carried desires of when I was a child. 

It had my dreams and aspirations, it was clothed and it had soft skin.

It wore a smile and it spoke about my gifting; my distractions and I spoke like we were from the garden of Eden.

He knew of me and I knew of Him.

We had those moments when we let out tiny screams and let out wild laughter and tapped ourselves to express how much we  synced.

I called my distraction names that I might not have called you. Even as I write you and admit I take responsibilities, I must speak of all that happened to the last of it. 

My distraction felt like a mystery, like one dream that you felt you’ve always had, that one person you could so relate with after few moments of meeting them. 

My distraction made me void of our memories; it felt it could love me better than you would and I’d love it better than you.

It appealed to me. Like an early love that would always work, like it would understand even my deepest flaws.

I got carried away. Yes, I touched my distraction. It was clothed (I might have taken them off) it had soft lips, its eyeballs could make places leak. 

Now that I think of it, it was wrong of me. I really thought I had found a reason to leave.

I stood apart from you for days as my distractions drowned me and taught me new ways. 

I was into my distraction and I stayed muted from your words. I no longer heard you clearly. 

Then I heard, and I realized. That for first, you’d never play me like that. I had an understanding of you, knowing how you regard and you could never do my heart the way I’ve done yours in few hours. 

And I coughed and I sneezed and tears followed all I did. The winds had carried me, you had never broken me, never hurt me and why does this new thing look better than you.

But that was fair, there were days heart would want a lot; maybe something new or something hot and to be honest; there’s always someone better than the one you love. How then do you hold yourself up?

So I laughed in remembrance of days you’d pick me up, the jokes you cracked, the night we stayed up, the look you steal at me and how your love makes me feel enough. I had fall short of you and it hurt.

I had shaken up our world for something I’d later drop. 

Whether I liked it or not, moments like this were bound to come.

I should have been better, I should have thought about the things I thought last at first. 

Now that I write you, I have done away with distractions. I told it clearly that I messed up. Taking responsibility for the tiniest actions and biggest wrongs. 

I told my distraction, but not in one word. It is beautiful what we’ve hacked and life brought it in good time however, the ground are bad and if we sow? We would never reap this harvest.

And it understood that we had no business being in the same room anymore. Undone and gone from it like it is with me. My soul is settled. I am sorry I let us leak. 

Hopefully you won’t find out what my distraction made me do.