ESSENTIAL ROMANCE

 To my lover, 

Last night, when it was 

time for us to go to bed, 

I saw you shaking your head. 

I asked if there was something 

making you upset, you didn’t tell.

I could guess your world

was close to falling off. 

A part of me felt like 

I wasn’t worthy your words. 

Because why would you 

lie about your hurts? 

Perhaps, you didn’t want to 

bother me too much. 

But didn’t we make a vow?

Never to go to bed

without saying every word. 

To never get upset for too long. 

To never call each other 

names or throw around curse words. 

We made a vow, I remember.

That’s why you have 

my ring and I have yours.

We all make mistakes, 

I made one with you yesterday. 

I allowed us make love 

when your head wasn’t in the game.

Because I love and always 

want you, when your hands 

came on me, the cold had 

nothing on me. 

But it was a wrong move. 

Perhaps I really wanted you.

I didn’t want to ask at 

the point of the game what 

really had the best of you. 

Yet, I noticed our romance 

had no passion. 

The way you kissed me 

didn’t feel like our  version. 

The bangs had no essence

The turns and the flips 

were filled with silence. 

It was with a heavy heart 

that you made love to me. 

I could feel the weight of 

your heart as you went in me. 

Yesterday was one of 

those night that our bodies 

were barely one. 

It was just fluid and crumbling worlds.

But,

Because of the way I desire you

I don’t just want you thrusting.

My soul could use some trusting.

We shouldn’t do love making that way. 

It was a ugly doing

But that’s okay. 

That’s why this morning, 

As soon as you wake up, 

I will make you tea 

in your favorite cup. 

The one that reads

 “The man of God for me”. 

I will fry those eggs 

how you love them. 

I will bring them to the bed for you. 

I will sit beside you. 

Knowing fully well you would be mute. 

I know when I sit the 

tea beside you, 

You will say I am sorry 

about midnight.

I will nod and say that’s fine. 

I would go ahead to 

tell you to have your tea. 

I will smile and give you a kiss. 

Are you in a good space 

to talk to mummy? I would ask you. 

You would most likely say yes. 

Go ahead, baby. 

Those are the words 

I will say to you. 

You would go ahead 

and tell me about the 

surgery that messed up your mood.

How over the years, 

you thought you had gotten pass pity. 

How you never thought 

you will feel like this. 

How you didn’t think 

a woman losing two of her newly birthed triplets and dying 

before her husband could 

arrive would disturb your peace. 

But, I am human. 

You will say to me to erase

the disappointment in yourself. 

Because you had thought 

at some point doctors 

would only do the job they 

should and emotions 

wouldn’t be too much 

of a thing to have. 

I will go ahead and hug 

you because even my heart is pierced. 

I would tell from your heart 

beat you still had fear. 

I wouldn’t leave you until 

I feel a drop of your tears. 

It would tell me you are healing. 

You would go ahead and kiss me, 

You would do it again and again. 

You would go ahead to say

“I wasn’t sure if I wanted 

to talk about it yesterday” 

and I am sorry that I went 

in you with some much burden. 

That’s not how love is supposed to be made. 

 

I would smile and tell its okay, 

because really it is. 

I just want to be wrapped in you arms. 

To allow the horror 

from yesterday fade away. 

I just want to hold you 

so much that you feel safe. 

I understood your heartbreak. 

And as you kissed me again, I figured 

this might end with me moaning your name.