You are familiar

 When I put my head on your chest, 

I can hear your heartbeat, 

it pounds in a familiar manner, 

like a place I’ve once been. 

When I put my lips into yours, 

I could taste your thoughts and the foundation of your beliefs; I could remember and feel all you ever wanted. 

It’s a taste I once had, I could tell it.

When I began to love you, I could sense it 

I’ve once loved a person like you. 

And when we made love, it felt different. 

Like I place I’ve always desired to be. 

You felt familiar. 

But that was a red flag for me.

Everything that we’ve had is familiar 

The love, the kisses, your presence,

Our moments, the memories, 

I’ve had them before and I had them in hurts. 

So I couldn’t do life with you anymore. 

Because when your hands hold on to me, 

The remind me of my first lover who lied to me and toyed with my heart.

And when your lips goes into mine, I am 

Tasting the struggles of my past. 

And when we make love, I wish we never did, because all I feel is fear. 

Baby, you would one day leave. 

This love- all we have, it’s very familiar.

Similar to what I had when I first shared the love of my heart. 

And I’ve tried to move past it. 

But these familiarities gives me PTSD

I know you before. 

In the shades of another. 

I know you make promises to never leave.

But even those words are familiar.