Dear old friend

 Hi Friend, How are you? I miss you. 

Sometimes, I feel grieve that you are not here often. 

It makes me feel like I have failed, every time you shut me out and say lesser words. 

I am sorry if I ever went wrong. 

Honestly, I understand isolation. 

It’s totally alright. 

I know you are figuring out so much. 

I don’t know if to say take your time. 

A part of me is hurting, I want to be there. 

I promised we’d hold hands and get through. 

But, I don’t even know this new you. 

But I would appreciate if you would take time and say me hi. 

Or please, reply my previous messages.

I know you are alive, but I miss old times.

I know 20 children can’t play for 20 years,

But didn’t we promise to be there? 

We said we’d be different. 

Am I being selfish by wanting you here? 

I just want to hear you. 

I am losing the memories of us. 

It’s been 8 months since we last spoke. 

When I look at your heart; it’s taking too much heat, it barely feels like home. 

I thought I knew you. 

It’s surprising what life can make you do. 

I am stuck between hanging on or giving up. 

It doesn’t feel the same anymore. 

Am I being selfish? 

You never tell me things anymore. 

Every time I text you, you say it’s adulthood. 

Sincerely, I get, because I am dealing with life too. 

Should I just move on? Do you approve? 

Because it breaks my heart every time I reach out for a part of you. 

I wish you were here, it would be easier for us too. 

Sometimes, I am scared that tomorrow might go away and I would never hear the words you’ve always wanted to say.

Dear old friend, is our years over?

Is fading the new goodbye? 

I don’t understand. 

You should reach out. 

Am I being selfish? 

Do I really not understand? 

Oh, dear friend.

Now things no longer make sense. 

Is life too hard for you, I am always here. 

But I can’t tell what’s up with you. 

I feel like a mess. 

And it’s not manipulation or guilt tripping. 

It’s accountability and a love thing. 

I hope you reply me or come home soon. 

I’ve been asking God to help you too. 

If you wouldn’t say a word. 

Promise in your  heart that you’d be fine. 

And it’s okay to write me to say Goodbye. 

You’ve always said I might not understand. 

But I think that’s not true. 

Did you even try? 

Just leave me our best stickers. 

And I am sorry if me or life broke your heart. 

Dear old friend, I love you all the time. 

Note: Sometimes, we go so far from those we love and we leave them in the dark and in hurt. Sometimes, it hurts us too, but we can’t deal with it because life is a lot. I hope we’d find the courage to build the bridges that didn’t deserve to burn. I hope we’d reach for help and not try so hard to be strong alone. I hope we’d find the suitable word to explain our emotions. I pray that God would fill every space, give us words and ease our pains. 

With Love, Olu of The House on 99.