To be desired

 

Dear freedom, we can’t even be friends again. 

I know I bought the strings so I could play the pains to fade, but I don’t think the pains would go away? 

It’s been a while since 3467 days, but guess whose heart still travels through time? 

Dear freedom, I am sorry.

I know that you’ve been willing, but I am not coming back, I can’t 

You know how they say time would heal, it hasn’t and I doubt if it will.

You know how I said it’s fine, I lied for things fell apart. 

You know how I just wait, it’s because my shoulder carries weight. 

You know how I smile in open space; it’s just my grieving process finding its way. 

You know how I no longer understand the words you say; it’s because I no longer live in today. 

My thought is in my past and finding its way. 

I am sorry that I caused you pain, I forgot it’s okay to isolate. 

It’s not healing, it’s not healing, everything isn’t healing. 

I am sorry I keep running, but how am I to tell you that every injury I thought has healed now has open space. 

Dear freedom, I want to be with you. 

But all these baggage, what do I do?

So freedom, you could wait in the future, I’d try to met with you. 

And if I don’t? 

Dear freedom, let’s not say a word no more.