H. O. M. E

 

I felt God today:

It’s been a long time since I felt love that way.

In recent times, I have gone astray.

Yet, I felt the nudging to return home; because home they say is safe. 

But I am not used to home.

Because for every home I had stayed, I didn’t fit in. 

I didn’t fit in because I was different 

I was never safe. 

It threatened everything, because home to me isn’t even a place. 

Then I found a heart 

Then I found a space 

Then I found several things that made life awkward. 

I was finding everything except a part of me. 

So I was running from everything because there wasn’t a home in me. 

And one day, I realized God was looking for me. 

He had that part that was missing. 

God is Home to me. 

In recent times, I haven’t been home.

I haven’t been to God 

I just don’t know, there’s been so much noise in the world. 

And I feel like I am going to die tomorrow, if I or if I don’t go home. 

Maybe it will be different after talking to Father, because there is this fear taking me farther.

And I am just thinking, how much longer?

Why did I leave home? There were lots of people telling me I don’t belong there. 

Even though father kept calling me his own. 

And I couldn’t stand the sight of those outside the gate, those my neighbors prevented from coming in by judging their shades. 

It made me remember when I was looking for my missing part and I’d peep.

Later on, I realized my neighbors were just crowds blocking the house I ought to reside. 

My neighbors had lots of rules to make it look like the Father was a tough ruler. 

That’s a lie....

(Yet and still )

So I am still running.

Hopefully tomorrow would be better. 

One day, I was under a shade, one of my neighbors said I didn’t deserve it. 

Father came and gave me a thicker shade, He called it Mercy. 

Perhaps, there would be more of it tomorrow. 

I wonder if ....