Because I am done

Darling Self, This is my grief.
Emptied first, crazy within.
Very scared, I have failed again.

Wait, it is very loud.
I just want to hear.
For the first time in years, God is silent here.

Undone, peeled and minced.
Broken, shattered and lost.
I can’t believe I have lost myself.
My identity is no longer within.

Hello darkness, you look so fine.
Hey you, bottle of ibuprofen, you look so nice.
For months, I have stood by the windows of my thoughts,
Listening to the voice of the world.

I am lost, drowning but living.
Talking to my fears like a decision.
Speaking to my doubts like situations.

Walking with my smile amid friends.
Yet I have broken the rule of sanity by yelling on my bed.
I have failed.
I can tell by the pool of water I sleep in.
I never thought I’d get here.

Chains and shackles in my head
Over my mind, heart and flesh
When I asked, they said it is okay, to be stuck in the realm of shock.

I know this place, I have been here.
I know this place, I have drawn people out.
How did I get here?

Time, I thought would tell.
About the difference I was making.
I am really foolish, I lied when I said I was different.

My chains are more attractive in my location.
I can chill under chains and endure modern torment.
I am everyone’s best.

Dear ibuprofen, your own pills seems satisfying.
What is the scent of the grave?
I never liked yellow, tell them who never knew.

I am undone.
I will see you soon.