ILLUSION

Dear ayomikun,

    You taught me to write, but not without you.

Ayo, you said I could write out all the emotions I had bottled up.

You said you'd be here whenever I was alone.

Remember when you told me that my laugh makes laughter start laughing?

Remember when you asked me to smile for you.

Ayomi, that day when you ask me what kind of man I wanted; I said the one that would laugh over the fact that my laughter makes his laughter laugh. 

Ayo, I don't know where i am.

It drives me crazy when I realized that I made you up in my head.

That I birthed and named you. That i speak with a figure that noone has seen or heard.

Ayo, where are you?

I am loosing my head.

One moment, I throw flowers; yes, those roses you love. Another time, I am stuck between thorns. 

Ayo, your girl don't feel like it.

Your girl is tired, broken and messed up.

Ayo, the mirror is reflecting my past to me.

I don't know what to say.

But I am sitting by the dresser again.

No, Ayo, no. I am not crying like i always would.

I am starting to stare at my picture frames, no, Ayo, I am not thinking of the days i failed. I am looking forward to when prince charming came.

Dear Ayo, I am going to talk to Daddy God again, he said to come when i feel weary, and heavily burdened that He would give me rest.

Ayomikun, your twin sister is here.

Lost, disappointed, tired, mad at herself.

Send me a message Ayo, that I have made you proud.

That I am not a weakling, that i would win this fight.

Ayomi, the world is driving me crazy.

Ayomi , hold on, let me talk to Daddy God.

*Come to ME all those who are heavily burdened, and weary, I will give you REST.*

Dear ayomikun, I might write you soon.