LETTER TO THE MAN WHO BROKE MY HEART WHEN TRUE LOVE WAS ALL I GAVE

You betrayed me.

You make promises not worth being made.

That’s why you are going bald; 

you don’t deserve spotting waves.

That’s for men that are good.

I hope you slowly fade away,

and on the day you make food 

when you are super hungry,

it pours away.

I pray when you train to lose weight, 

you gain more weight,

such that your shirts doesn’t fit,

and orobo kibo becomes your middle name.

May your Italian shoe crumble;

the sole will fall in the middle of express way.

I don’t know how it will happen, 

but… whatever.

Here’s to going bald before 38.

Wearing your clothes inside 

out on big days.

Falling in love with someone 

who will never rate you.

Being friends with monsters like yourself.

Farting on dates.

Forgetting your name on stage.

Ink from your pen would pour 

on your favorite journal page.

You will hit your feet and drop your keys

when you urgently need to pee.

Water would run from the closet

when you do your number 2

as a guest in some important place.

I hope you get fart sprayed in few days.

Your ice-cream would melt.

The lenses of your glasses would break.

You will get dry skin even in summer.

You will never get your dream 

body regardless of how you try,

and no matter how much spray you put on,

you’d smell foul anyways.

I jinx you today.

May it not go away

until my heart you unbreak!

Written by Oluwafunke Ajoba