GOOD RUINS

3am, and we were still up

Laughing as though it was just the beginning of our world.

You had the sweetest words and if I counted well, 

you kissed me 1000 and 4 times before dawn. 

Half of the day, we were indoor. 

Trying new meals, baking until the pastries were fit, 

ordering food from restaurants down the street.

With you, I knew and did love. 

The other half of the day, we sat on the floor, 

having small and big talks, 

talking about childhood pains and 

things we looked to become. 

You called me baby so much that 

if measured in numbers, 

it would be up to a million and I loved it for us.

When I called you mine, 

your cheeks would turn red and 

you would do that little laugh and tell me 

“you really love it here”.

It made sense to me, it was everything and 

I absolutely deserved it, 

so did you and I am glad we had it.

We shopped for clothes that were new, 

things I thought would look good on you 

and we went home and it was the beginning of new love.

I sent you packages like UPS, 

you reciprocated like DHL. 

It was habit to call multi times before day ends and send 

cute little pictures that explained what moments were.

I loved you, dreamt you, thought of you and lived for you. 

Those vacations, those little sweet poems, 

that new business I started, 

it had your money first and when 

I got my first paycheck, I spent on you first.

It was good. 

Until tribe became conflict and a dead tune.

I had heavy regrets, because I had stood and bragged 

that this love was ordained and nothing could tear it apart.

Since it ended, I’ve barely ever revisited 

what we shared not because

I cannot bear to handle the ruins that’s left. 

I think somethings are better left as they end, 

so you don’t tamper with evidence or 

hate all that happened because of what failed.

4 years now, there’s no better time to 

write and get over with it. 

Although my heart has longed healed, 

I am just so human I can never understand somethings.

I also delight in writing about everything, 

in hope that another might learn from me, 

that I might save a life or help someone heal.

I’ve always wished you the best, 

cheered you in my little space 

and told myself that “I wasn’t ready for forever anyway”! 

I look back now, there is better ahead 

but I don’t like the stress. 

I loved you first and you loved me next, I said to you 

“let’s go on a date, you do right by me, 

you get to be my boyfriend”. 

It worked out so well! 

I am proud of myself, forever grateful for what we share. 

Writing with all of joy and no regrets, just can’t keep 

our moments and memories to ourselves.

It turned out good, I highly recommend. 

Thank you for the truest of love, 

even Disney princesses would approve of us. 

From our love, I tasted heaven first, and I dared hell! 

That love? It was the most perfect will to have been done.