WELL, I LIED

 

Months have passed.

I would tell myself that I could

I could love any one I wanted

I could feel anything 

I could still love and send gifts 

I could still make jokes 

Still have a pet name 

Still love like nothing changed 

I lied.

My heart jerks too much 

It carries residues of pain 

The memories of those who

Didn’t stay. 

Those who now belong to another babe.

I could live with being by myself

But I am troubled by thoughts. 

Because I was by myself when 

Lovers came and said I was the 

Best thing God had made.

That I suited their journey 

They’d like us to remain.

Or course, it was good exchange 

Until these people thought to leave. 

I don’t have a problem 

with people leaving 

I have a problem with 

reasoning with why, 

You said it was heaven to you, 

How did it stop?

Did I become hell or 

you just stopped to care? 

We laughed so hard at jokes, 

We had names that were our own. 

So many moments and

memories to behold.

Just for you to wake up 

and stop to make them my own.

Lies, deceit, every other word

that translates to disbelief. 

How do you move on from a heart?

How do you fall out of love with a soul? 

How could you hide the truth? 

It’s not hard to say I don’t

Love you, it’s just a game.

Several of your kind play this game.

Just this way. 

I’ve had love that ended good. 

But those ugly ones did me no good.

I can’t believe I said it didn’t matter.

I reassured my heart on this matter.

Oh, I lied. 

I can’t feel sparks

I can’t hear sounds.

I don’t feel butterflies anymore.

Whether it’s old or new type of love.

I just have questions and logic 

Tiny emotions and wishes 

Buckled up pains.

Doubts, questions with no answers.

I lied. 

I don’t believe in gifts and laughter. 

In moments and times 

In love that’s kind.

In kisses and smiles. 

In sending parcels from across miles.

All I see are emotions that lies.

Humans with nasty hearts.

Uncertainty and lies. 

I lied.

I can’t love like I used to.

I can’t even try.

I can’t move past the issues.

I lied.

I can’t feel new with this amount of pain.