Lost Me

 

Those moments we spent waiting for time to change what was becoming.

You stopped coming home, and I found a new hobby. 

You stayed in the car longer than you stayed in our bed. 

And I had no idea what was tearing us apart. 

You kept words and thoughts from me, you kept planting pecks in my forehead telling me not to worry. 

But you were never there, so I always did worry.  

I was waiting for time to tell but it didn’t say a word to me.

Neither did you. 

But I knew it wasn’t the same with us. My jokes didn’t make you laugh enough, my words didn’t keep you near me.

All I thought we built was falling off right before our eyes. 

I got tired of picking us up. 

It was too much for me because you didn’t have the decency to tell me what’s tearing us up.

Now, we are sitting across from each other, you tell me I don’t pay attention to you anymore.

I am not sure what to say or do. Yes, I married you but I have gotten over you. 

I am uncertain if to ask you to let us start over, or to forget we ever met.

The emotional torment and emptiness, the lack of decency to show you care, barest of intimacy, countless guesses; I promise you, you don’t deserve me.

Just like you, I don’t have an explanation for what is or what would be after this.