CHILDLIKE LOVE

We sat across the table, innocent but undone.

I go ahead to ask my best-friend, “what if this doesn’t work”?

Then my heart stumbled on us. 

You and I, Him and I, She and Him, They- both of them, basically everyone that fell in love when they were innocent and young, hoping it would work. 

I miss when we were younger and free and uncertainty wasn’t a thing.

Innocent and unbroken, able to love just about anyone and anything. 

Look at us now, cautious as thieves. Guarding our hearts beyond what God asked.

The heart that ought to carry abundance of life, now carries scars and hurts of the past.

I miss when we were kids, under 20 type of love before broken souls came in contact with us.

I miss the love life that I envisioned.

I regret what life made of me.

I almost erased my perfect picture.

Because three things which amazes me, the fourth I do not understand.

1st how a person could love you so crazily today and never want a thing to do with you tomorrow 

2nd how you could think you’ve found the one but you are the fifth one in a row.

3rd how the lies of the heart you could trust, the place you think you could be undone becomes your downfall 

4th how you could give your all to a person and that doesn’t stop them from walking from what you were both building.

I hate this adult type of love. Where we can’t be childlike, we are too conscious looking not to fall. We can’t love up because what if they leave and it hurts.

I hate this love where you spend too much time mending broken hearts. Where you are confused about where you stand because action doesn’t align with words said.

I miss under 20 type of love. 

Letters, innocence, the tiniest thing meaning everything. 

Now we are just all hurting, watching and waiting for when they leave. 

Gosh, I miss writing letters and buying little gifts, kiss on my forehead that doesn’t kiss like Judas’s kiss. 

I miss laughing wholeheartedly 

I miss having my own person. 

Don’t you miss it too?

I am not even sure what love is anymore.

Does it still give butterflies? 

Does it still feel like “I want to be everything I can be with this person”

Does it still make come home to cry on your partner’s chest when you are tried of life and you don’t get judge by them for your weakness.

It’s been so long. 

The taste left my lips. 

The feeling left my heart.

My brain is bare.

Don’t you miss love?

The type that licks your body and doesn’t call you messy.

The type that knows your cologne

The type that call your name and your senses awake

Love that can be trusted; pure as heaven’s morning dew 

Love that has a nickname for you.

That eats from the same plate as you

Open, transparent, visible without inbuilt resentment.

Some good old type of love.

A type of love like that. 

A childlike love