Silence

And I am sorry I thought it was what I could handle. 

 This overwhelming feeling , it’s drowning me. 

WHEN I  come to yours tonight, promise to hold me into midnight. 

Promise you’d allow me cry without asking me why. 

I lied to you. I’ve been carrying this weight for quite a while. 

And it’s hard to explain the heaviness that I feel. 

I just know it’s very stuffy on the inside and I am looking for answers, but I can’t seem to find any. 

Months have passed and I am still sitting at the feet of Christ. 

To be honest, I can hear tiny whispers and feel gentle touches. 

I just know I feel God beside me and somehow holding my hands. 

But I am really angry because I can’t figure out anything major. 

And it is worse when I have to go out and fake the smile hiding the injuries on my inside. 

 I know I promised you I’d be there, but I can’t be there for myself. 

  My head is clouded; there’s just so much noise, and I am cowering in great fear, it’s really heavy in here. 

 When I come to yours, please don’t ask me to explain how I feel. Let me cry till I feel my breath seizing.

 

 Just whisper “I am here” - that should do. 

Because I can’t explain this, I don’t know how to. This heaviness, I’ve never had to. 

 And I am sorry I thought it was what I could handle. 

 This overwhelming feeling , it’s drowning me.