To come alive

 

...There is supposed to be this place where I find you.

 So when I sit, I can find myself and watch my pains fade beside you. 

I haven’t been home in a while, I don’t know to tell you. 

I feel like the prodigal child; I am lost in style. 

I wanted to come home the first time I died; that type of death that happens when you have regrets. 

And the second time I died, it was because I felt my world might end.

 Daddy, there is space that only you can fill. 

There is this pain only you can heal. 

So, I thought to write to you today because it is the day you gave me a new life in you. 

You know when you died, I knew everything negativity died with you, but I didn’t know I had to fight. 

These are not things we talk about, but I feel void of you. 

And I don’t know how to ask, even though I am aware you’d throw a feast when I do. 

I want to come back to you. 

I realized that when you wept, you drew a line that made realize that you are God enough to feel like man.

Let me come alive. Let the cross yield it’s sign. 

I want to resurrect. 

Let me just be you.

Olu’- Ajoba

32/2021.

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