Once upon a mistake

 Usually, I’d wake up in your arms. 

I used to strongly adore the man you were.

And I thought there was a future because of the way you’d hold me in your embrace. 

Later, you became mysterious; cutting my soul in different shades. 

My heart was ripping, yet I carried your last name. 

Unexposed grieving; I was thinking a man could change.

And when you plead, my soul no longer worries about your stains.

I never had guts to ask that you explain the manner you chose to treat me.

I was all in the open validating you by never admitting you caused me aches. 

365 days has passed and we are the same. 

We were supposed to be married with a child, playing the clean games. 

But how could there be children when your kicks kept taking them away.

And I think it’s okay, how you patiently come home and make me meal.

Pretending there wasn’t the yesterday when your whip almost took my eyes from me. 

Now, I am scarred, but I am playing tamed.

How can I question your ways? You make it look as though I am insane.

There are sentences for every of your mistakes.

Like how you were laying with another soul because she takes your pain away. 

Reminded me that we were once like that; hiding in backyards and waiting for the right time. 

I once watched as you ripped another person apart, while you were looking appealing to my eyes. 

This looks to me like the karma served. 

Last night was different, you said to give you a little bit of time. 

You said you were a changed man and we no longer need to fight. 

It felt like the words you’d say when you need me to get on my back. 

Whenever I see the scars caused by your hands, I figure you’d be the death that do us apart. 

I know I am running out of time. A part of me would never have life. 

This is a letter. This is me pleading. Let me go, don’t try to call your arms home. 

Gone are the days you stopped making me feel alone. 

Now, I want you to leave me alone.

I know we thought we could go a long way, because I felt we shared everything that could keep our space safe. 

But I forgot, you don’t even care about my fourth name. 

Maybe I was selfish as well, greatly craving you to myself. 

Thinking if time could turn, you’d pick me first. But I forgot, it doesn’t work that way. 

You are a man and you desire to quench your taste. 

Quite unfortunate, this won’t have name. 

But that’s alright, at least I found my way.