Pierced

  

I want to help you grow 

I want your heart to be my home 

I want to speak your love language 

This was 5 years ago

**********************************

Today, I am seeing you lay on that bed. 

It’s been four months and I think you are near death. 

I am praying for a miracle, I can’t see your grave open.

My part would go with you. 

My laughter would clinch to a side of you. 

And I have been waiting for your eyes to open. 

I need you. 

*******************

3 years before now 

There were voices 

And I used to stay by the stairs with you 

Asking that for once, you’d feel the way I do. 

To love me, desire me, to help me grow.

That in your touching, my soul would feel eternity.

You never did. Yet, I stayed, hoping that time would heal. 

*******************

Then, a year ago

Your heart found love with me. 

Such that all that I consist of became your feels. 

I wanted to be loved earlier. 

That my arms would find support in your embrace. 

And I wish that I didn’t stay for so long with the hope that time was a factor for change. 

*********************

Then today, it’s like your last breath would fade. 

And I asked if there were words to say. 

You did say, “I wish I had the courage to do love with you earlier” .

You sounded as though you knew, that my heart is bruised from how long you took.

I wanted to say at least we found a kind of love to do.

My hurts still sat in my heart. 

So, I smiled. 

************************

TONIGHT 

I thought that I saw something in you.

I thought that I knew what could be. 

So much that all I consisted of, was submitted to your negligence in the hope of all I felt coming to view. 

I should have known. 

Mother did mention, she said that space can tell how a heart glows. 

And that sometimes, things would never be what we know. 

****************************

2 years after. 

So, I am sitting by the stairs after I had seen your tears.

I don’t want to be here. I don’t know how. 

My heart is pierced. 

All of these years after you have healed. 

Memories flashed in my head about what used to be. 

I then realized I spent too long trying to let you love me. 

The scars of old times still remains. 

For the times I was thinking we were healing, I was growing in pains of myself fading. 

***************************

RIGHT NOW 

I am leaving 

I grew in pains of your negligence 

That my heart can’t love you the way it wants to.

And time cannot heal this. 

Neither can you........

PIERCED