I don’t like being human

 I don’t like being human

Because it would mean that I have to wait for you to love me. 

It’s a shame, all my head would think of would be the day you saw me. 

I don’t like being human, it makes me wait on your feelings. 

Then I embrace bitterness when my emotions don’t equal yours. 

Being human means I have to get hurt. 

I have to lie that I don’t want us.

It means that I would wake up one day, and you would be gone. 

All the memories we share, it will become mere words. 

Being human means I would think different thoughts, I will see your flaws and errors. 

I don’t being human, being human means I have to love you less, I have to pretend when your hands run through the hair of another; I will suppress my anger. 

Being human; my kind of human, it means I will give you the world, my world, then I would close my eyes and never see you again. 

It hurts, being human, it means that I would be crazy in my head. 

I will keep my thoughts and my fear.

 

I used to be a goddess, with my deity titled as fierce. 

Then I met you, and I fell in love with the man that you were. 

It’s all in my head. How can I not be human?

I didn’t want to be reminded.

 I didn’t want to be reminded. Of how you said, put your guards down.

 Then I smiled and gave you all I had. I became human, my whole essence melted before your eyes, I became human. 

Human enough that I captivated your consciousness, human enough that I became your dreams.

Then it was all good until the moon retired into the night. 

I couldn’t see your heart. 

You hurt me and I hurt myself. 

So, I am somewhere here, hurting and breaking. 

Then I took an oath, to never be a love baby. 

I will never be human enough to love you, 

I will never be human enough to embrace the thoughts that it was a mistake, and you never intended to bruise me. 

I will never be human again. 

Never.