Abused 1.

I was looking forward to lot of things, but I never thought about the days we would no longer see.

It's hard without you here, i have to be everything, including staying strong for those you left in my care.

I thought of everything else except today, I didn't think I would be sitting silently by your grave or bringing your flowers when it's not your day.

It was my fault, I didn't mean to make so much noise.

I got so mad that night, dragging the steering wheel was my way out.

I should have been careful, I should have understood.

I didn't want to argue, but it wasn't your first time of sounding rude, calling my names that didn't fit my shade.

I thought we knew love, but we never spoke enough.

We got lost. We got lost in our desires, we appeared like each other's answered prayer.

We never spoke about our anger or bitterness, the delicate errors and silly mistakes.

We covered our feelings with the word love, we had intense love making to fill us up.

I couldn't take it anymore when you called me a slut, I objected and it led you home.

Home, grave, beneath. I am going crazy, I can't scream your name, I don't know if to blame myself or fate.

I thought I could get every bit, now I struggling with balancing my desires, raising our offsprings and bringing you flowers.

Today, I no longer know how to survive, I would be driving into a truck with our baby at the back of the car.

We are going to come home to you. Now, it's becoming clear, the reason mother told me to rest my head before saying yes.

It doesn't matter, I have failed in every area.

So, we are coming home, because your arm is the only home I know.

I can't live this life alone.

Being abused, made love to, cared for by the one whose manners the world don't approve, is my way of getting at peace.

I am coming home.

To your grave

To your arms.

They say there is no marriage in after life, I just want to see your face and wave.

Funke's Thoughts