This road

My body is trembling, I don't know why.

I want to go to somewhere quiet, yet wild.

I want to call Fear by its last name, I want to fight.

I also want to sit, but not think about life.

I want to be 10 again, so I can scream outside of this cage called adulthood.

My heart is shivering, it does this when it feels something new.

Love, beauty, challenges even the pains of adulthood.

I want to call Time by its first name, I want to ask if it would wait.

I want to find my way to several places; My altar, the arms of the one I love, I want to shout with family, remembering the days of caramel popcorn and Sprite, I just want to live life. 

My head is settling, it wants to re evaluate.

It wants to be alone, somewhere in the bath tub, calling life by its name.

I don't understand, but I think I know.

But if there should be anything, let it not be the sound of No.

It's been a while since I have been feeling alone, I have failed at several roads, so failure is no longer surprising.

My hands are wiping my tears, my body is telling me no.

It says take a deep breath and relax, but I honestly don't know.

Should anything go wrong, tell the world that I tried, atleast I once heard God calling me His Child.

Now, it is getting dark.

Now, my head is going blank.

Now, I can't remember because I have murdered my passion, so I am sorry, if I never make it around after today, but I am promise, I am fighting in my closet.

This voice of insanity, it is overshadowing my vision.

I don't know, but If I find my way home, you better hold me close.

Dear little voice, I say No.