Broken widower

It is scary going home, knowing you wouldn't be waiting.

 Who am I to cuddle or do a pillow fight with? 

Who would make me dinner and listen to my rants? 

Who would define me over and over with a smile? 

I wish you didn't die, reincarnate and cross my path again...

Although, I am getting used to the sun setting without you around.

I am hiding visibly from the world the fact that I miss your love.

I am trying to be a mother, father, sister and daughter at the same time.

The tension socks my blood.

I wish I still had your shoulders to cry on.

When I retire to bed, reality sets in. 

I am crippled by the thoughts of your demise.

I am still broken into half.

My world was easier with you around, I was stronger to fight without breaking apart.

 I could smile without worrying about my tears, now I am careful because in all that is said, you are mentioned and felt.

The world wouldn't understand, because they haven't carried a cross of my kind.

Stay strong, they would say with a smile; but they do not realized that our strength became joined when we exchanged vows, now I carry the load of two with strength of one. 

Somethings were fun but not anymore, for I hear your voice in all the places we visited for fun.

You are here and you are there.

You are everywhere except near.

But you are felt, you are needed, you are everything to me except dead.

#depth of soul.

#broken widower.

#Oluwafunke Ajoba

Extracted from the life of a mentor