It is not that I don’t

It is not that I don't love you, it is the sound of Mama dying from papa's slap.
The way the door was shut behind for hours, when papa left mama started breaking vodka bottles with her teeth; A sign that she was shattered from within.

It is not that I don't love you,
It is the way my cousin's heart was left unhealed, the fact that he died over the girl he gave his kidney.

It isn't that I don't love you, it is the way I was harrassed times without number, the memories from the rape seize to leave, every soul that climbed on me, feels like I was never born a virgin.

It is not that I don't love you,  it is the countless time 

I watch that dude take from that girl yet made her abort and left her on the run.

It is not that I don't love you, it is that I am committed but unloved yet can't move on.

It is not that I don't love you, But my aunt's memories of loneliness hunts me.

The truth is that is not that i don't love you but I don't remember what love is.
It is that I am too crazy for love.
It is that I give too much or nothing at all.

It is not that I don't love you, it is that I once cheated on someone I loved, 

I am scared it would happen and this time it would be my turn.

It is not that I don't love you... it is that I have forgotten love.

It is not that I don't love you, it is that I do but can't move on.

It is not that I don't want you, it is the fact that I do.

 It is not like I can't keep you, I'm not sure I should.

 It is not that I don't love you, I forgot love is real.

 It is not that I don't find peace with you, it is the fact that there is so much with you.

It is not like I can't hold you, but I would one day leave. 

It is not like I love to keep you in the zone, but that is the best that holds our soul.

Let me tell you a secret, I am not much of a keeper, that is why you should go.

I forgot how to love for something had gone wrong.

Forget all your thoughts, the zone seals all. It is not that I don't want you, but I don't know if do..

It is not I don't love you, but i am not sure I should.

And I don't want to hurt you, I am not capable of giving up everything.

I forgot how to love, that is why I shouldn't hold you. 

It's not that I don't love you, it is that I do.